Gruff with a Hint of an Atomic Bomb
by whathobertie
Summary: Gillian brings up a highly unpopular topic with Cal. Cal/Gillian, humor.


**TITLE:** Gruff with a Hint of an Atomic Bomb **  
GENRE:** Humor **  
CHARACTERS:** Cal, Gillian **  
PAIRING:** Cal/Gillian **  
RATING:** PG-13 **  
SPOILERS:** None **  
WORDS:** 1,300 **  
SUMMARY:** Gillian brings up a highly unpopular topic with Cal.

* * *

She walked in and owned the room. It's what she did and why he smiled to himself—proud in a way and completely under her spell in many others. He stayed put, sprawled in the chair with his feet up on the desk, but in fact he was moved more than he would ever let her see.

"What are you so smug about?" she asked and walked over, gracefully sitting down in the chair opposite of him and smoothing out her skirt. The desk remained their barrier, but they both knew there wasn't one.

"Smug? Me? Not sure why you would connect these two words." The grin wasn't easy to wipe off, so he just let it stay.

"Yeah, that's right. Nothing to be smug about today." Now the slight smirk on _her_ face made him feel a little uneasy. She always had a purpose when she was marching in like that. And it was usually him her troops were out to eventually overrun.

"Oh, should I be worried?" he enquired and flipped through some of the papers on his desk again. "Actually, I lost my notes on the Rock Creek case." He tried to look apologetically, but probably failed judging by the reflections on her face.

"You did? Good thing we're not talking about that one now, but it's certainly worth another note."

He was confused. "Another note on what? Are we not talking about the case? Your Outlook invitation said we would be."

"Yeah well, my Outlook invitation lied and was a decoy. Sorry about that." She took some papers out of the folder she had brought with her and handed him one of the stacks. Neatly stapled together the way only she would do it.

He looked at the paper on top and only read the headline. It was enough anyway. "Oh no, no, no! We're not doing that one, love."

"Yes, we are," she confirmed without the slightest hint of any doubt. "It says once a year. For _all_ employees. And your last one is—pretty much non-existent."

"I had it destroyed in the flames of Mount Doom."

"Even more reason to come up with a performance review that reflects the current situation."

He seriously wondered how she could keep such a stern face, but he also got the impression that she secretly enjoyed herself quite a lot. He watched her turn the first page and face him expectantly—waiting for him to do the same. "I don't think I like you right now."

She ignored his comment expertly. " _Overall review of the job performance within the last year._ "

He groaned. "Does it not start with me pouring my heart out and telling you how I generally feel while I do my job?"

"I skipped that point on purpose. Or are you going to be serious about this?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, I guessed so." She smoothed out her skirt once more and started reading from the paragraph she had already put together. _"Dr. Lightman has demonstrated—"_

He had to interrupt. "Dr. Lightman?"

"It's an official document," she explained and seemed a little closer to becoming unnerved as well. He took it as a small victory for now.

"Official document my arse. Can we just skip to the part where people say stuff about me?"

She continued breathing normally, only shaking her head slightly. "Okay, then I'll summarize: Outstanding specialist skills with episodes of poor people skills towards employees as well as clients. Securement of thirteen major contracts and cause of overall four lawsuits."

He grinned. "I like the way you make that sound."

"We have exploding legal fees, so don't test my patience. I should add _'not good with numbers'_ somewhere." She made a note and turned the page, looking at him again with that slight smirk that had the ability to scare him. "So right on to the 360° feedback, yeah? You can read the points in between later."

"This is going to be brilliant, isn't it?" He really didn't want to hear any of this. But at least it was her reading him the riot act. Her voice made it sound a little better than it really was and to a degree he liked it when she was mad at him.

"I'm just going to read some of the quotes that came up. Starting with: _'_ _Gruff with a hint of an atomic bomb.'_ " She obviously found it hard to hide the smile on her face.

"That one's from Loker."

"They're anonymous, Cal."

"Yeah, it's Loker. Can I review him as well?"

"The feedback rounds are over. You ignored all the reminders."

He rolled his eyes—about her and just as much about himself. "Okay, I get it. So go on. I know you want to."

She cleared her throat as if to demonstrate that some more highlights were yet to come. _"Dr. Lightman is a highly regarded boss professionally, but often lacks the ability to empathize with his staff and create a climate of community and inclusion."_

"Not Loker anymore. Too many carefully selected words. Torres probably."

" _Not one you would go to with a problem."_ She made a show out of pulling the paper closer to her face and acting surprised. "There's an addition in parentheses that says: _'For fear of having your head torn off.'_ "

"Everybody has left this office with a head. Urban myth, I'd say."

" _Expects high levels of loyalty and professionalism from his staff, but fails to live up to them himself quite often."_

He didn't feel like anything he could say would help his case right now, so his mouth remained shut. A hard thing to do after all.

"Oh, I like that one," she exclaimed almost enthusiastically. _"Not always communicates effectively with employees. Might be a British thing, though."_

"Blimey, are there nice ones as well?"

"Yes, there's one that says you are very inspiring. And aloof."

"Nothing about my good looks?"

"No, sorry."

He exhaled loudly and put the stack of papers down on his desk. "Can we end this here? I get the message." He tried the apologetic look again and this time it almost got him a relenting response on her face.

"You'll need to sign your copy."

"Does it say I promise to be better somewhere?"

She nodded, because of course she had worked it all out in advance. "Yes, there's a commitment to that and concrete measures for further development. Would be great if you could read them at some point and actually work on one or two." That clearly was a nasty piece of sarcasm at the end of the sentence.

"You know what," he said and swung his legs off the desk back to the floor again, "I actually will." He looked her in the eye with earnest intentions until they both had to grin. Nothing beats the two of them, he thought. He took a pen and put his signature on the dotted line of the last page. "Happy?"

"Very," she agreed.

"Going home?"

"Yes."

He got up and quickly gathered his things, before joining her in the walk towards the door. He got so close their bodies touched. „Am I a bad person?" he asked a little more quietly, tilting his head towards her.

„No, you're not." Her features were soft and her voice mellow. She smiled, but it was the one just reserved for their private moments.

"But unprofessional, is what you're saying."

"Yes, sometimes you are."

„What about that time when we had sex in your office? Wasn't that pretty unprofessional of you too, Dr. Foster?"

„That was after working hours."

„Oh, so that's different? I might have been abrasive to some of our employees after regular working hours."

She just shrugged her shoulders. „Guess we both enjoy each other's unprofessionalism from time to time, then."

His widening smirk knew no limits. "Speaking of intimate relations in your office: How would you rate my performance in that department?" he asked nonchalantly while switching off the lights and following her out.

"There's always room for improvement, Cal."

 **THE END**


End file.
